Weber, Craig. Conversational Capacity: the secret to building successful teams that perform when the pressure is on. McGraw-Hill Education. Toronto. 2013.

The key to open, balanced, and nondefensive dialogue in the workplace? Staying in the sweet spot that balances minimizing and winning.

A quick read to discover tools to improve dialogue and team dynamics.

Messages

• spectrum of people who respond to discussion conflict between tendency to wish to flee and a tendency to with to fight

• people who tend towards flight also minimize their side

• people who tend towards fight also see communication as winning for their side

• effective teams can work in the sweet spot, balancing candour and curiosity, courage and humility, so that we can choose wisely

• we need more double-loop learning

  • Typical process: Problem, Assumption, Action, Result
  • Single loop learning involves revising your action to improve your result
  • Double loop learning involves revising your assumptions to improve your action and your result
• building a disciplined team involves specific principles for personal and team work

Book Outline

• Introduction
  • Who should read this book?
  • Standing on the shoulders of giants
  • Where do we go from here?
  • It's about teams
  • How to use this book
  • What challenges are you facing?
  • A fork in the road
• Conversational Capacity
  • Building teams that work
  • Conversational Capacity
    • Where's the line?
    • Two basic symptoms
  • Nothing else compensates for low conversational capacity
    • Proper structure is never enough
    • Good relationships are never enough
    • Technical expertise is never enough
    • High commitment is never enough
    • A good strategy is never enough
  • It's a pervasive problem
  • The essence of teamwork
  • The solution
• Intentional Conflict
  • Traditional Team Building
  • Mindless Behavior
  • Instinctive Behavior
  • Two troublesome tendencies
  • Flight: when candor gives way to caution
    • A universal tendency
    • Minimize behaviors (17 example items)
  • Fight: when curiosity gives way to certainty
    • The human flamethrower
    • It's a formidable tendency
    • Technically smart but conversationally dumb
    • It's a common problem
    • Win behaviors (15 example items)
  • Both directions at once
  • We all do both
  • Typical triggers (9 items)
  • Are minimize and win behaviors always bad?
  • Moving Beyond Awareness
• Beyond Fight and Flight
  • A cognitive shift
  • Informed and effective choice
  • Expanded awareness
  • Internal commitment
  • Joint control
  • It may seem obvious
• Intentional Dialogue
  • The discipline (courage and humility)
  • Candor skill 1: we state our clear position (concise without deferent introductory phrases)
  • Candor skill 2: we explain our thinking
  • They're separate skills
  • Curiosity skill 1: we test our view
    • Simple tests
    • High-powered tests
    • Antitests
  • Curiosity skill 2: inquiry
    • Responsibility and discipline
    • Higher expectations
    • Inquiry pulls a team back to the sweet spot
    • Sample inquiries
    • Don't ask why
    • A few poor inquiries
  • Testing and inquiry: what's the difference?
  • Before we move on
• Cultivating Our Better Angels
  • "All push, no pull"
  • But won't I look weak?
  • When should these skills be used?
  • What if I'm cut off?
  • It takes time
  • Consensus?
  • Isn't it just a matter of trust?
  • Cultivating our "better angels"
  • How we're "being" in a conversation
  • The humble CEO
  • It's a conversational martial art
  • The work is worth it
• Conversational Capacity and the Value of Conflict
  • What is your mind doing?
  • The city street
  • The ladder of inference
  • Our brain is a filter
  • Cognitive cartography
    • Ladder of indifference
    • Bong-hitters and goose-steppers
  • It's a big problem
  • Poor ladder management
  • Effective ladder management
  • Are we all the cop and the architect?
  • Effective ladder management and political discourse
  • An open mind is a smarter mind
• Conversational Capacity and Adaptive Learning
  • Not all learning is created equal
  • Hopping off the hamster wheel
  • Double-loop dialogue
  • "I'm all push, no pull"
  • Single-loop smart but double-loop dumb
  • It's a common problem
  • Simple in theory but hard in practice
    • Blindness
    • Attachment
    • Resistance
    • Uncertainty
  • Pro-active double-loop learning
  • Working in the sweet spot requires double-loop learning
  • An essential competence
• The Work of a Disciplined Team
  • Changing our brains
  • Two kinds of work: personal work and teamwork
    • Personal work
    • Teamwork
  • An upward spiral of performance
  • The power of one
  • Don't hold off
  • Remain positive
  • It's worth it
• Conversational Capacity and the Challenge of Team Leadership
  • Focusing the team on the appropriate challenge
    • Adaptive work
    • Checklists
    • We avoid adaptive work
    • Ego
    • The problem is erroneously defined
  • Ensuring that the team has the conversational capacity to engage the challenge
    • Don't kill the goose
    • Be proactive
  • Leadership is not the same as authority
    • Real team leadership is about orchestrated learning
    • We all can lead
  • Effective team leadership rarely comes from just one person
  • Building conversational capacity is an adaptive challenge
  • Our better angels
  • What are your challenges
• The Road Less Travelled
• Notes and Index

Tests invite people to discuss our hypotheses

Solicit how others see things

• Is there a better way to make sense of this?
• Do you see it differently
• How does what I'm suggesting feel to you?
• What's your take on this issue?
• What's your reaction to what I've just put forward?

Overcome differences in positional power

• That's how I see the problem. What does the problem look like from your perspective?
• Right now I feel like my idea makes perfect sense. Are you seeing something I'm missing?
• I am more interested in making an informed decision than in being right, so I'd like to hear your point of view-- especially if it differs from my own.
• If I have a blind spot about this issue, please help me see it.
• I've shared what I think and why I think it. I'm curious to learn how other people are thinking about this problem-- especially those who have a different take on it than I do.
• I'd like someone to expand my view of this situation. Who has a different way of looking at it?
• To help me improve how I'm looking at this decision, I'd really like to hear from someone who has a perspective that challenges mine.

Inquiries invite people to share hypotheses

Raise unexplained hypotheses behind someone's position

• What are you seeing that leads you to that view?
• Tell me more about how you're looking at this issue.
• What does it look like from your perspective?
• What have you seen or heard that leads you to think X?

Invite quiet members

• Are you seeing anything the rest of us may have missed?
• I'm interested in hearing your views on this problem. Do you have a different perspective than those that have already been shared?

Principles for team discipline

Effective Dialogue for Decision Making

• Clearly state the decision that needs to be made and who is responsible for making it.
• Only involve people who need to be involved.
• Share the decision-maker's current position and thinking, even if that position is fuzzy.
• Put a time limit on the discussions. Spend enough time to get different views into the open, but don't waste time trying to reach full agreement. Once you have enough information on the table to help the decision maker make an informed choice, move on to the next issue. If you realicze you need more information, ask people to do their homework and schedule a time to revisit the decision.

Trigger Journal

• When did I leave the sweet spot: what was the triggering event?
• What was my reaction?
• What would have been a healthier, more balanced response?

Key elements in a conversational code of conduct

• No untested attributions. Assuming is OK, just test your assumptions openly.
• No personal attacks or dismissive behaviours (tone, body language, words)
• Exercise bias toward conversation and away from email. Only use e-mail to disseminate information, not solving problems or airing disagreements.
• Keep open dialogue and informed choice as your highest goal.
• Make respect, compassion, curiosity, and a quest for the higher good key drivers for your behavioural choices.
• Balance your push and pull. Bring more attention and discipline to how you participate in discussions. No steamrolling, dominating or withholding.
• If someone fails to test, jump in and test for them. Don't chastise anyone for not testing or roll your eyes and adopt a critical demeanor.
• If you have an issue with X, go talk to X. No backbiting or "hallway" dynamics.
• If you're not able to reach a solution or make progress, ask a third party for help.
• Address breeches of this protocol immediately. Hold each other accountable for these agreements. If you don't point out when someone has violated an agreement, you're enabling the behaviour.